Ms. Match Fixer

Arora visits the office at the Association between 10 pm and 12 noon everyday. There,she conducts personal interviews of the would-be brides and grooms and even their families. Her questions bring out answers of people’s views on simple yet essential aspects in a marriage. “I ask the girl whether she prefers a joint family or a smaller one? The boys are asked if they want working or stay-at-home girls,and these days they all prefer educated,working girls. No longer do I get demands of: “Aunty,I want a gharelu girl,as was the case several years ago,” she says.

That Arora goes into details of each one’s lives is also what makes them trust her. “The youngsters relate to me and confide in me. If they can’t afford a big wedding,they tell me and accordingly I convey the same to the other party. If one of them has a medical problem which they haven’t mentioned on their bio-data,then I am the one to talk about it with the other side,” she says. Arora even asks the youngsters about any affairs and if they are being forced into an arranged match. “If they reveal an affair,then I work towards fixing that up. See,at the end,my job is that the married couple should be happy. Despite social networking sites and other matchmaking websites and large organisations,my work clicks because I become part of the family during the process,” she feels.

Everyday,Arora arranges three or four meetings between families. “I insist on the boy and girl personally meeting each other because the portfolio pictures they click can be misleading.

Once,a family from Pune liked the photographs of a Mumbai girl but upon seeing her they were so disappointed,” she reveals. Other than Pune,her matchmaking services extend to the US,Mumbai,Delhi,Jammu,Bengaluru and other parts of Maharashtra like Nagpur,Aurangabad,Indore and so on. “And now,I am going beyond Punjabis and doing inter-caste matches too. I’ve had Gujaratis,Sindhis and even Maharashtrians coming to me,” she says. For all these services,a sum of Rs 750 for two years is charged by the Punjabi Cultural Association.

Arora’s help in the matchmaking doesn’t end at the wedding. “So many times,couples develop problems and strains in their relationship. I counsel them,give them a time frame to work things out. More often than not,the problem gets sorted. If not,then I help in getting the divorcees or even widows/widowers re-married,” she says.

In the last 25 years,Arora has been very firm about one point – no dowry demands. “That’s another reason why the girls completely trust me. I blacklist any family that makes even the slightest demands. Matchmaking isn’t about just exchanging bio-datas and meeting a couple of times. It’s about helping both parties understand each other fully,and that only a matchmaker can do,no website,” she insists.

Though we live in an age where love marriages are on the rise,Arora feels that matchmaking will continue to be an important part of the wedding process. “Some kids I have interacted with feel satisfied that they have tied the knot in accordance with their parents’ wishes. So tomorrow,if something goes wrong,their parents will support them. Unlike in love marriages,where parents wash their hands off if the couple has compatibility problems post-marriage.”