Funny Birds: From militant flamingos to crafty crows, there’s a flock of them that make you laugh

First off, there are the ducks. Well, there’s that waddle (did they inspire Charlie Chaplin?) and that tail wag and that voice! Happily, they also look as if they are perpetually smiling – though some, like the tufted pochard in its severe black-and-while ensemble, complete with ‘shendi’ and beady yellow eyes, appear serious – until he opens his mouth.

But there are others, the dabbling ducks like shovellors and pintails that hilariously upend in the water, and with orange flippers working madly like paddles, will gyrate around, with their heads under water tails sticking out like anti-aircraft guns. That’s their way of finding a meal. And when mama duck leads her dozen ducklings across the park or even a road, towards the nearest water-body – you just have to smile.

Sadly, in India we can only see them in the zoo in Mumbai, but penguins have just got to be high up on this list. Who can forget the penguins of Madagascar – Skipper, Rico, Private and Kowalski with their ‘been there, done that’ wisecracking accents and one-liners. In real life too, they are hilarious. Always dressed for dinner, they march, hop, jump and toboggan over ice on their journeys to and from the sea, braying for their babies as they approach their homes, crops full of dinner. When neighbours fall out – usually because one has stolen nesting material (stones) from another, they whack each other with their flippers – but yes, you need to stop laughing now because they are deadly serious and can draw blood. And baby Emperor penguins, all jacketed up, look as if they have all the worries of the world on their tiny shoulders.

Then we have those militant ballerinas – the flamingos – all decked up in candy-floss pink, black and white. With supermodel legs and boomerang bills, they look like the epitome of haughtiness, as they stalk and mince their way over water so saline it could peel your skin off in seconds. Long ago, I watched them conduct a march past across Sultanpur jheel, stately as a guard of honour, all uttering a low guttural murmur as they went past. They court, in a similar manner – like a militant corps de ballet – heads held high, then eyes right, eyes left, about turn – all the while glad-eyeing a prospective partner.

Like them or loathe them, crows have a sense of humour. Time and again I have watched a crow sidle up behind a pompous peacock and pull its tail, hopping back with a wicked glitter in its eye, hugely enjoying the national bird’s discomfiture. Such a wonderful way of taking down bigwigs a peg or two. I have watched them travel ticketless on buses across Delhi, too.

Known and revered for their lifelong fidelity, Sarus cranes ought to evoke more respect than ill-mannerly laughter, but when you watch a couple dance, prance and trumpet, skirts flying sinfully high, heads and beaks pointing skywards, as they swoon around one another, trying to outdo each other… well, it’s difficult! Cranes worldwide are known for their exuberant courtship dances, and well if you have issues in this department – just emulate them! Your partner will love you to bits!

In extreme and imminent danger of extinction, the noble Great Indian Bustard, is another bird that can get a wry smile out of you. Watch it stroll across the desert, head held snootily high as if it doesn’t have a care in the world, and you will be hard-pressed to believe that this may well be one of the last survivors of its species. Ah, the illusions some birds live under!

Parakeets and cockatoos are born clowns. Clambering about in the trees or along cables, some hang upside down, seemingly preferring to see the world from this perspective. Shrill, loquacious and loud, their sheer joie de vivre can infect you as they missile across the skies on their way to raid say a lychee orchard (the raid will be conducted in pin-drop silence).

Jungle babblers always make me grin. A posse of them, looking like dishevelled policemen, tails swinging like lathis, will fluff themselves up and bounce up to your glass door. Walk up meekly and open the door, they will flutter away frantically, trying not to crash-land on top of one another on the nearest tree branch, muttering away. And then you see them in the evening or early morning, sitting tightly squashed in a row, eyes closed in bliss as they preen and nuzzle one another – and well what can you do, but smile?

But finally, a word of warning: the ‘Laughing dove’ will absolutely not make you laugh! Go figure!