SRK@60: In the age of Andrew Tate, the early Shah Rukh Khan still offers a kinder, wiser masculinity

Increasingly, in the age of loneliness and algorithms, that question is answered in the most crass of ways — by Andrew Tate on the Internet, by films like Pyaar ka Punchnama, by uncles galore — from inside the drawing room and, on WhatsApp groups to senior politicians on the pulpit.

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The Khans — Salman, Shah Rukh and Aamir — by dint of their longevity as leading men, if nothing else, have been examples for boys and men for over three decades. Salman is brutish, aggressive and, at times, righteous. Aamir, for the last decade and more, has been too holier-than-thou — and chasing conventional success masquerading as being hatke. Take Phunsukh Wangdu from Three Idiots. He tells his friends to “follow their passion” and makes fun of the hard-working Chatur ‘Silencer’ Ramalingam for run-of-the-mill ambitions. But he is also a genius (averaging a patent a week), in addition to being a saviour, telling all of us that you can only follow the dreams that lead to excellence, or if you are exceptional.

Shah Rukh Khan in Josh and Yes Boss.

Shah Rukh’s message on success, ambition and masculinity is, by and large, softer. But after the “NRI turn” — beginning with DDLJ, solidified with Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham — he ceased, in a meaningful way, to be the middle-class Everyman. The NRI hero was casually rich, focused on love because he did not have to worry about the little things most men tend to do. What will I be? Am I good enough? How do I get the girl? Are the desires and ambitions — around wealth, lust, love, ‘importance’ — my own or those placed on me? Do I have to grow into them or grow out of them?

In most cases, it would be unfair to place the burden of these questions — of identity and masculinity, in essence — on a mainstream superstar or filmmaker. But SRK, early on, answered them.

In at least three films, Shah Rukh Khan gave us a different kind of ‘anti-hero’. Sunil, in Kabhi Haan, Kabhi Naa, is perhaps the best example of this archetype. He is a bit of a rascal, a liar and goes to great lengths to sabotage a romance between the girl of his dreams and his friend. He acts in a way that so many of us, especially in adolescence and early adulthood, might — engaging in small deceptions, driven by insecurity and desire. His redemption doesn’t lie in getting the girl or becoming a great and successful musician. He is a hero because he learns to face consequences and be just a little honest.That’s a boy becoming a man.

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In Yes Boss and Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman, Shah Rukh’s characters are driven by the values — the worst of them — of a newly liberalised India. He sees the women he loves (Juhi Chawla, in both cases) as either a ladder or as competition. In the former, Rahul is ambitious and willing to sell out his colleague (she has her own ambitions) to a rapacious boss — till he isn’t. Unlike the protagonist in Satyajit Ray’s Jana Aranya, Rahul redeems himself and settles for a life with a two-wheeler and the small joys of love and friendship that are commodified now for greeting cards and nostalgia porn but rarely celebrated as ends in themselves.

It is, perhaps, not a coincidence that these films were made by Kundan Shah and Aziz Mirza, who saw the values of a time gone by as valuable.

SRK, for men and boys, then and now, should be more than a lover and six-pack, ‘king’ of an industry based on fairy dust and dreams. He should be the nice guy, who may not finish first but that doesn’t mean he is a loser.