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Journalism of Courage
Tigers and the Corbett Tiger Reserve have been in the news recently, so have other wildlife-related stories, one such instance is the problem of rogue elephants in Kerala. Down in Jungleland meets a ‘spokes-tiger’ in Corbett to know what they feel about the recent developments.
Tiger: As long as it gets the tourist paparazzi off our backs, it’s welcome. Don’t know what kicks the tourists will get gaping at sick or limping tigers, though they will get cheap thrills watching the delinquents roar and snarl and swagger around. Perhaps, they could open a petting zoo for orphaned cubs that cannot be re-wilded, children would love that.
Tiger: Bah! Get real, bhaisahib. Almost 99 per cent of visitors only want to see us and nothing else, and if they don’t, they demand their money back. By the way, the missus was asking if there is any way we, normal tigers, can apply for a place in the tiger safari. The cubs were very excited and said that, according to their social media posts, exotic buffets would be laid out every day for them, with imported hippopotamus, zebra and giraffe on the menu, so they wouldn’t have to learn how to hunt, and people will take pictures and videos of them, which will go viral, and they’ll become YouTube megastars and all…
Tiger: Yes, well, actually that’s what the kids want the most… I tried to explain to them that it’s never worthwhile meeting your heroes, but you know, kids these days…
Tiger: Arre bhaisahib, the babies are complaining that they are never invited to these events – they want to do naach-gaana and nattu-nattu, also. They said a leopard apparently tried to gate-crash once, and caused total bedlam and was chased away.
Tiger: (Shaking his head and lowering his voice) Shh… the missus has been nagging me endlessly saying we should go there for a holiday. It’ll be like being at a 7-star spa, and such a pleasant change of scene and that I never take her anywhere. Bhaisahib, I have 150 sq. km. of territory to patrol, so where’s the time? But she says, she’s never seen ring-tailed lemurs or Elon Musk, and they’re on her bucket list. I keep telling her that the rescue centre is more for traumatised elephants and sloth bears who have been badly treated but she doesn’t want to listen.
Tiger: All of us in the animal kingdom are of one view: All of us wild animals – snakes, crocodiles, tigers, bears, leopards, sharks, buffalo, et al. kill far fewer people every year than do your motor vehicles. So why aren’t ‘shoot-at-sight’ orders issued for such vehicles and their drivers? Why aren’t they declared to be vermin? At least, put them in a zoo or have special safari enclosures for them, where everyone can ogle them and throw rotten eggs and tomatoes at them… A tusker stoked up with 60 times the normal amount of testosterone hardly knows which end is up: all he is aware of is the red mist… he’s not in his normal senses, so how can he be justifiably targeted when he bulldozes houses? Besides, you are doing that sort of thing to yourselves…
Tiger: In our view it should be a capital offense! All of us animals use trees for different purposes: for food and shelter and as back-scratchers. For us, tigers, it’s our social media. How would you like it if all your social media platforms were taken down overnight? You’ll be running to your therapists like headless chicken! Honestly, your species has such double standards. You’re going to murder some 850,000 legendary rainforest trees in the Nicobar Islands and relocate the local population if necessary to turn it into Hong Kong, of all godforsaken places, and say you’ll recompense by planting trees in Haryana. Have you asked the Nicobar Imperial Pigeon or the Nicobar Megapode – and the locals – if they would like to reside in a gated colony in Gurugram with a golf-course view called Dandelion?
Tiger: There are no rogue tigers, leopards or elephants. There are only rogue people. Period.
