It’s a jungle out there: An imaginary interview

Many male animals follow the barbarous practice of slaughtering the young sired by other males, when they take over a pack or pride. Isn’t that despicable?
And what about when you kill your baby daughters at birth or when they fall in love with men of their choice and
not yours? Honour killing, you call it, don’t you?

But you do pretty much turf out your kids from the family.
Ask your 16 or 17 year-old what he or she wants most out of life. You can bet the answer will be, “to live on my own in a place of my own!” We teach our kids what they need to know to live independently.

But you have to admit, life in the jungles is dangerous. You can be attacked at any time and have to be wary at all times. That’s not very civilised, is it?
And crossing roads in cities is what? A walk in the clouds? When you can get run over from 24 different directions at the same time, while the cops fight over whose jurisdiction your pancaked corpse comes under?

We’ve watched hundreds of hours of videos on channels such as National Geographic or Animal Planet that show animals involved in the most savage of fights — big cats in mortal combat, bears going berserk, or anacondas strangling some poor creature. Isn’t that jungle raj?
Like the World Wars and the nuclear bombing of Nagasaki and Hiroshima were pacifist movements? And what do you call all these lovely things terrorists are doing to you? The casting of light and love all over the globe?

But admit it, some of you guys have pretty savage love lives. Lady spiders and praying mantises devour their partners during the honeymoon itself. How civilised is that?
We think a lot of ladies of your species would probably love to, and benefit enormously if they followed the same practice. But, yes, how many cases in jungleland can you point out in which the poor brides have been burnt alive over dowry, or because they didn’t produce a son?

But look here, we have democracies and voting and parliaments and societies based on law and such civilised systems in place.
You’re forgetting that you also have dictatorships and fundamentalists and multinationals and…we could go on and on. Where have those “democracies” got you? Everyone is pointing fingers at everyone else and no work ever gets done. At least, in the jungle, we know who’s the boss and are confident that they won’t rip us off just because they are in charge. Have you ever heard of an elephant matriarch that became a multi-millionairess as soon as she took over power? Her only priority is the welfare of her herd. Besides, we have a far more ordered society than yours. Every denizen knows its place and what it has to do. The diurnals come out in the day, the nocturnals at night.

But we have technology and you have, well, the jungle…
And with all your technology, you have still poisoned and polluted your — and our — environment beyond belief. The jungle is technology, more complex and intricate than you’ll ever know or understand.

Okay, so what’s your last word on the subject of ‘jungle raj’?
How do you “civilised” folk start your day? By gulping cups of tea and yelling at someone to put on the water pump, by shoving breakfast down your throat while working at your tablets or smartphones and then setting off for work. How do we begin our day? Well, most of the avian kingdom is up there in the trees, welcoming the day with the famous dawn chorus. Need we say more?

Ranjit Lal is an author, environmentalist and birdwatcher