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This is an archive article published on January 5, 1998

1998

Frantic phone calls ushered in New Year's Day: ``You (the emphasis implying `you-at-least') must have watched television on New Year's Eve?'...

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Frantic phone calls ushered in New Year’s Day: “You (the emphasis implying `you-at-least’) must have watched television on New Year’s Eve?”

Interpreting silence as assent, the callers continued, “Good! Then you must tell us all about it!” Actually, too churlish and ashamed to admit that `you-at least’ did not tele-box on the night of December 31, 1997. For a very good reason (obviously!): last year (sorry, the year before last year), the shows were so poor in every way, they were strictly below the poverty line. No wonder, then, that this year, most channels quite easily resisted the temptation of preparing special entertainment shows for the midnight hour. Spoofs are apt to go poof! if you don’t have the right satirical touch. And for reasons, unknown and unfathomable, we’re not able to laugh at ourselves or produce shows which make others laugh at us. So it may be a lame-duck excuse, but the truth is, just couldn’t bear to spend the last minutes of 1997 watching and listening to the quacks quack on TV.

Did watch Zubin Mehta next day (DD2). However, unaccustomed to high culture on the channel, viewers may have been, understandably, taken aback by the sight of Zuby baby conducting the Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra on the low-brow channel. Now, don’t ask uncomfortable questions such as — why. Why and where and when had DD2 suddenly acquired a taste for classical Western music? Perchance, Mr S.S.Gill possesses a taste for C-majors and B-minors? Don’t inquire why this aesthetically elevating experience had to be shown at 4pm in the afternoon when most people were catching up with the sleep they’d lost earlier in the night. Or why a recorded version couldn’t have been shown later in the evening, when people are more in the groove for Strauss and Co? Don’t ask is this is the sound of sounds to come from DD2 in 1998? Don’t inquire why it was shown on DD2 and not DD1 so that people all across the nation could have enjoyed it…Don’t ask what whim possessed Doordarshan. Just N-JOY.

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Did watch Editor’s Choice (DD2). Not completely disappointed either. Yes, it was Shobha (again) but not Simi (again). No, Simi had been replaced by Simran (Bhargava) and it did make a difference. Every question was not a sugar-coated lozenge to sooth De’s inflamed throat (well, she sounded as though her gala had sat down). De, reflective and looking very serious (or just ill), spoke about her life and times; Bhargava appeared to be listening, carefully, and though she asked questions which weren’t always connected to what De was saying, she was able to sort of move De around.Also watched Sunil Gavaskar in conversation with his favourite partner; no not his wife or Chetan Chauhan, dodos, but Geoffrey Boycott (Sunil Gavaskar Show, STAR Sports). Finally, figured out why the two of them get along so winningly: both were opening batsmen, both were opening batsmen who, ideally, would have liked to occupy the crease for five days and now both are cricket commentators who’ve lost a lot of hair. Sunil and Geoff were choosing the best one-day side, and you’ll be unhappy to know that the only Indian they chose was Sachin Tendulkar. There seemed to be a perfect understanding between them (no run-outs) except when it came to naming a captain. Boycott, daringly, went for Lara while Gavaskar voted for Akram.

This week they’re going to chose the best Test 11. You might care to choose your own and see if it matches theirs (but no prizes for this one).

Revisited The Bold and Beautiful and Santa Barbara (STAR Plus) after nearly six months. Real compelling stuff. So much has happened and nothing has changed (is life like that?): In B&B, Brooke is still mooing at Ridge, Ridge is still silently mashing his molars and exercising his jaws with repressed desires, Taylor is still playing `he-loves-me-he-loves-Brooke’ and looking beautifully distraught while Stephanie still looks utterly distraught and not at all beautiful. Same goes for S.B: Cruz is searching for his wife; Mason is hating his father and loving Julia who loves him too but can’t show it; and Gina is as effortlessly mean and horrid as she ever was. This is the charm of the soap opera: no matter how long you’ve been away, when you return, it’s familiar territory. It is so reassuring to know that 1997 may go and 1998 come but some stories go on forever.

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