You are in search of a livable rented home, amidst vegetarians-onlys, Brahmins-onlys, Christians-onlys. A livable house is one which is situated away from the place where the owner stays.If you venture to share the same compound with the landlord, you will soon realise that a tiny sound from your home falls upon the landlord’s ears like a thud. He rushes to you and suspects that you intend to destroy his house, brick by brick. He scans the floor and the wall. He spots a stain here and another there. “You are maintaining my house poorly,” he pronounces.When you remonstrate with him, he points out to various supposed stains. If you happen to be a tenant, don’t strain your eyes to spot the stains. You will never see them until you become a landlord. Fed up with this kind of a house owner, you go in search of a landlord with a difference.Finally, a landlord with a difference presents himself. “Are you a non-veg?” he wants to know. When you tell him you are not one, he refuses to consider you. You then explain that others in your family eat meat, if that is any help and that you, yourself, occasionally eat eggs. “Okay..you can move in,” he says, and you shift into his house.A few days later, you find your landlord wandering nearby. You invite him in for courtesy’s sake but he refuses to enter. “No. I am waiting for a friend,” he says. A few weeks later, you find him at the same place. Again you invite him in. This time, he is evidently waiting for a cousin.You keep seeing him every now and then. Your courtesy doesn’t let you down as you are by now quite sure that the landlord will not come in. You love the landlord with a difference more and more as the days go by.One day, you hear a knock on the door. There is the landlord, waiting outside. “Please come in,” you say. The landlord comes in. You notice his nose quivering like that of a rabbit. “Please be seated,” you say. The man is livid, “No. I want to know one thing. Are you a non-veg?”When you reply in the affirmative, he says he doesn’t believe you. “See, Mr Tenant,” he says, “I have been trying to find out whether you are non-veg. I’ve never smelt any non-veg flavours emanating from this house. Why?”It’s because you didn’t feel like eating non-veg fare, you explain. “You must cook non-veg food daily. I told you this house is meant for pure non-vegetarians only,” he states with finality. You explain that with the news of bird flu in the air, the family has opted out of eating meat for a while. “That’s not a serious reason,” says the landlord. “You must cook non-veg items daily. Use lots of spices. Let the smell spread all over.”You agree, as you watch your landlord with as difference leaving the house with a butcher-who-killed-the calf spirit.
