An abrupt farewell

I remember the year 1963. It was the year I picked up my first cigarette. What an experience it was.

I remember the year 1963. It was the year I picked up my first cigarette. What an experience it was. Trying to light it, I almost burnt my nose and coughed desperately with the first puff. It left a noxious taste in my mouth, and a feeling of giddiness. Despite this rather unpropitious beginning, my association with Ms Nicotine continued.

By and by, the bond became a bondage. There were occasions I tried to abstain. But it was to no avail. Refrainment and resistance brought no reward. Ultimately, I derived solace from the old saying, ‘Chains of habit are generally too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.’ So why waste time?

Forty-four years have passed. The other day, as I sat with a book in one hand and the cigarette in the other, I saw Suganu, a family friend, at the door. Bawa, her husband, and Leela, her mother, were with her. Up in a flash, I stubbed out the cigarette, but could not hide my cough. And as we sat talking, Suganu came straight to the point, “Don’t you need to give up smoking? I can recommend Patrick.”

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I had pursued this innocent pleasure for the better part of my life. Should I now part with Ms Nicotine? It seemed that the choice was between desire and distress. Still I did show an inclination to give in. Next day, Suganu called up to tell me where I could meet up with Patrick.

The moment I faced up him, I was tongue-tied. “What can I do for you?” he asked. I admitted that I smoke and that it does not seem to agree with me any more. “Do you really want to give up smoking?” he asked. I nodded. He then gestured to a seat in front of him, and moved his hand in front of me, as if to transmit some cosmic energy. After a while he said, “Now you will find smoking distasteful.”

I came away and, strangely, have not had the desire to pick up a cigarette ever since. My last packet remains just as it was, with all its 19 cigarettes intact. How did this happen? Can faith break the chains of habit? Perhaps. Now Suganu should approach Saif, Shah Rukh and Sushmita as well.

The writer is a former chief justice of the Kerala High Court