Bridegroom and prejudice

Trendy clothes, trendier lifestyles, modern mind sets, tech-savvy homes, nuclear families, cellphone addiction, internet surfing, fast food,...

Trendy clothes, trendier lifestyles, modern mind sets, tech-savvy homes, nuclear families, cellphone addiction, internet surfing, fast food, fast cars, fast life — we’ve managed to colour our being with all that is West, wild and wonderful.

But if there is one thing we continue to steadfastly cling to, succumbing consistently and conspicuously to its often inexplicable demand, it’s the great Indian marriage tamasha. Arranged marriages may have given way to an increasing number of love marriages, dating may have become an accepted social norm, live-in relationships, no longer something you only heard of. But come to brasstacks, to the actual tying of the nuptial knot, and this march towards a progressive way of living comes to a grinding halt.

The same youngsters who have incorporated dates, pubbing and an it’s-my-life credo, suddenly develop feet of clay. For them, East or West, excess becomes the best. With the wedding season once again in full swing, the whole country has turned into one huge marriage market, spawning industries hitherto unheard of: from marriage consultants, to gem advisers to consultants on gift packaging.

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In India, the money spent on weddings continues to be seen as a reflection of family status, even if this means that families often spend years trying to pay off the resulting debts. And, more often than not, it is the girl’s family who is left holding the bills.

Today, when parents in India are willing to give their daughters equal education and opportunities, why this extra burden on them in terms of marriage expenses? Much of this is purely media and market driven. For instance, when there was a move to ban huge wedding parties in Kashmir the widespread protest came — not from parents — but from hotel owners, catering agencies and mutton sellers, who said they had already got a large number of orders for which they had made big purchases.

According to reports, the lead in crass wedding expenditure has been taken by Ludhiana, where even a middle class family spends several lakhs on their daughter’s wedding — with innovative frills like farmhouse weddings, women waiters brought especially from Delhi to serve the guests, each charging Rs 2000 per evening, and even drop boxes for shaguns at the venue for guests who need to leave before the arrival of the baraat!

The West may have its own set of social problems but it doesn’t include dowry demands and extravagant marriages. When India’s youngsters have so easily adopted to things western, especially those related to loving and living, why this hesitation in saying ‘I do’ in a more sensible way?