Who ever dreamt that Ekta Kapoor would forsake the high and mighty Viranis, Aggarwals and Basus, descend to earth with Kunjal (she cannot disown that letter), a small town lassie with typical Ekta looks and a father, wait for it, who wears a khadi kurta and wait for it once again, doesn’t have enough money to grant his four sons their favours so sweet Kunjal has to step in and marry once, twice — was it 37 times at last count? She’s a marriage planner. Where are the smelling salts or whatever people use these days to revive themselves?Kunjal on Kahe Naa Kahe, is the new face of television, and what a lovely face it is too. We have 9X to thank for her, the new entertainment channel on the box. Kunjal brings with her a middle class drama — which is neither new nor original, rather a throwback to when Doordarshan was strictly middle class (mid eighties). Will her family and life be very different from other K heroines? Suspect not.She is followed by Sunaina in Jiya Jale, presumably created by people with a J fixation. Here’s another gal with a large family and a mother who looks very alive but is apparently on her way out. The girl is not merely good, she is a devoted daughter whose only dream is to make her parents happy. In this noble quest, she is happy to deceive her mother and win a dance competition (to fulfil mommie dearest’s unfulfilled ambition, of course) and perhaps marry the man of her dreams (to please momsie and popsie, of course). On to Benares where two BJP stalwarts are Mere Apne. Smriti Malhotra and Vinod Khanna live in a palace, no less, on the banks of the Ganges with their four children (two boy and two girls) — Benares is the best thing about it. Vinod Khanna could be the second best thing about it. Not quite sure circa when this is supposed to be. At the moment Kashinath Pandey (Khanna) dresses and behaves like someone the Ganges left behind a century ago. His children look more this century — whaddya know, a generational clash! Kashi ji is the object of everyones’ respect and his savage enemy Bhanupratap’s hatred. Khanna is good but Malhotra has begun to appear and act matronly in all her own shows — Viruddh, Thodi Si Zameen — and now this.Ten thirty is comedy belt. There’s the inimitable Supriya Pathak opposite Deven Bhojani in Remote Control, their son and daughter who in episode one forget it’s their parents wedding anniversary. Luckily, the parents don’t. He buys her an umbrella and she, whatever it was, it wasn’t expensive (thank god — in saas bahu serials they never buy anything less than deluxe cars or super deluxe jewellery!). The last character is the television set which does what it’s done to you and me — change us. Another sitcom goes Dhak Dhakk (second k for second heartbeat?) in Dubai, where Miss Guju wants to marry He-man Punjab. Sheetal bangs into Vir Singh at college and she’s on track and he’s on song, being a singer. Quite winsome.So: 9x is all about loving your family (like K3G) and possessing at least one devoted daughter; nuclear families are in and joint pains out. It’s not metro India, it’s the next India. Pancake make up is out but dropdead jewellery is still sagging necklines. The camera work is steadier, no zooming in and out of faces like a revolving door, the music is quieter and the dialogue simpler. So far the police won’t be after 9X for cardiac arrests. Seems aimed securely at a middle class audiences — roughly the same as the K serials but there’s an innocence here, that is charming — for now. Will we watch? Yes, if a good story is being told well. It’s not about class, it’s about content. Mintrox Peppermint is not about Mintrox, not about pepper or mint, and certainly not a TV commercial anyone in a right frame of mind should watch. It’s about a mental asylum: one man’s in straitjacket (to restrain him from attacking Mintrox?), another’s hair refuses to lie down (was the pepper too strong or the mint?), a third, well he’s a madman, too. They have a Mintrox and in ‘crazed’ voices scream out, “Mein pagal nahin hoon” which is more than can be said for those responsible for this thoroughly insensitive and objectionable ad.
