Mandira Bedi’s mouth glistened at the prospect, the tip of her tongue stole out in anticipation. ‘‘Let’s take a lick at Jonty Rhodes,’’ she sucked in.It was her first day on the job, so she’s forgiven a ‘‘lick’’ instead of a ‘‘look’’ or two because, as we are continually reminded by commentators, in the glorious uncertainties of cricket, there can be many a slip between the Cup and the lip.Listen to Krishnamachari Srikkanth who talks rather like he used to bat: a twitch of the nostrils, a twirl of the tongue and the words stray out of his mouth like his feet from the popping crease. ‘‘Thats it,’’ he announced at the end of the Sri Lanka/New Zealand match, ‘‘New Zealand have won’’. When even Mandira knew it was the other way around.The portly, flush-faced Robin Jackman inspected the pitch before the India/Holland match. It’s full of runs, he pronounced. Ninety-seven overs later and 340 runs between the two teams, he had the grace to admit: ‘‘I may have misread the pitch’’. Purchase magnifying glasses for your eyes, Mr. Jackman.Or consider Ajay Jadeja. Now, you’d have imagined that he, more than most cricketers, would hedge his bets. But no: asked to predict the result of the West Indies/ South Africa match before the second innings started, he smiled cockily: ‘‘South Africa will sail through’’. Wrong again.Perhaps the presence of women in the studio and the commentary box, is disturbing the equanimity and judgment of the men. Well, it won’t be the first time. There’s Mandira soft and meowing like a cat in the sun, there’s Donna Symmonds, mellifluous as a tune. They have the men running for cover, so to speak!No honestly, the blokes seem completely bowled over. Strapping Charu Sharma has a perpetual coy shrug about his broad shoulders because he gets to sit next to her. And how they flirt. Yup. Charu asked everyone for an opinion on a match situation. Then, he muttered petulantly, ‘‘Well, nobody’s asking me mine’’. Mandira oozed towards him, ‘‘Oooh, I’ll ask you.’’ she offered all kittenish like she was asking him out on a date.It was also quite noticeable that whenever Robin Singh was on the air at the same time as Symmonds, he invariably agreed with her! Whereas he almost always disagreed with Srikkanth. And would you just take a look at the hurly-burly Jeff Thompson, that fierce and fast Australian bowler. When Mandira purred, ‘‘Thank-you, Thommo,’’ he blushed a pure pink of smoked salmon.So, let the purists hold their noses — up in the air. As Humphrey Bogart would have mumbled if Humphrey Bogart was alive and watching cricket on television, ‘‘Here’s licking at you kids’’.Of course, cricket on MAX has become a sort of Diwali mela with a bit of everything thrown in, including tourism, seance sessions and divine intervention. In scenes B.R. Chopra would have applauded, the mahasabha of their Almighties, debates the virtues of each team: ‘‘India is India, Holland is Holland and Australia is Australia’’!For those who think cricket is an insect that creates a racket at night, and would rather look at Tulsi than Mandira, the ICC World Cup organisers have, thoughtfully, scheduled most matches to end before prime time soaps.Speaking of soaps, have you observed how many of them land up in hospital? Amar of Aati Rahengi. has just been there with a mysterious ailment. First Ambika of Kahani. then, Payal and Baa of Kyunki. took up residence there. Pammi and Anu of Des Mein Nikkla. were hospitalised and the female leads of the new serial, Miit are bandaged to their hospital beds. Rajan from Goonj Ateet Ki, is lying there in search of his blood group, while the hero No.1 in Kahani Terri Merri is lying there sick with unrequited love. In Kittie Party several children have been in and out of hospital and now Prerna’s kid Prem (Kasauti.) is paying a visit to the institution. Besides, there’s Ronit Roy’s pregnant wife in Kammal, and the injured patriots of Mulk. Let’s also not forget that serials such as Kashmeer, Zindagi Teri Meri Kahani have doctors in lead roles and others like Sanjivani and Astitva are hospital romances.Coming to prisons.
