Dhansak with the Dabhoiwalas

Roshan: Sarosh was politely stubborn. The Parsis we know had just one thing to say—that there’s one less eligible boy for a Parsi woman. It was bad, I made life difficult for myself.

Archana (smiling): And for me too, remember? She even called me home and advised me to find a nice Sindhi groom.

Bomy: Here, cheers to the growth of the Parsi community!

Murali (to Archana and Wendy): You’ve blended in well.

Wendy: I had a much easier passage, though the relatives were a little cold initially.

Archana: These days, I’ve forgotten to speak Sindhi and am very fluent in Gujarati. And I’m ensuring that Farhan is brought up as a Parsi. He shouldn’t have a confused identity.

Roshan: The second time it happened with Zubin and Wendy, it was as bad if not worse. Zubin had even seen some Parsi girls. But since I’d already okayed his brother’s marriage, I had no leg to stand on. It’s all part of my mental make-up; I’m still very conservative.

Sarosh: Archana and I have often talked about this. Honestly, I’d prefer Farhan to marry a Parsi woman. But I don’t think I can dictate terms. Not me!

Zubin (laughing): Will there be a good Parsi boy around by the time my daughter or son is of marriageable age?

Bomy (sipping his beer): Some time back, there was talk about this ruling…

Roshan (bursting with laughter): We called it fatwa.

Bomy: Which said even if the father were a Parsi, the children wouldn’t be recognised as such. These things don’t work.

Sarosh: When I see the papers, I feel that something must be done about this… (‘‘inclusiveness’’, interrupts Archana). Yes, I mean, OK, don’t let outsiders into your fire temples, but who has said that non-Parsis can’t attend Parsi funerals?

Bomy: When the first Parsis sailed to Gujarat, they promised the king they wouldn’t impose their religion on anybody. Which is how we have certain laws regarding outsiders. But that was then.

Adi (who appeared from his room a little while ago and is watching all of us intently): Let me tell you, once Parsis did something for each other. Now they are all jealous of each other. All you have is old fogeys who don’t have a clue as to how to go about improving things.

Murali: So what does it feel like being part of a people who number a lot less than Test match spectators at Eden Gardens?

Sarosh: I suppose it makes the need for having a distinct identity stronger. If there were one crore Parsis, I don’t think ma would have made all that hue and cry. It took about two to three years for her to relent.

Zubin: We are as religious as men from any other community. We go to a fire temple and believe in the faith. But that’s about it. We can’t be fanatics hell-bent on keeping people out.

Bomy: The Parsis were always a small community and that’s how we will always be. Why is the media so interested in us now? I remember growing up with spinster aunts and unmarried uncles. It was seen as normal.

Roshan: But according to a report, we’ll go down to about 25,000 by 2020.

Murali: And you’ll be classified as a tribe.

Roshan (slightly agitated): A tribe! You’ll call us a tribe!

Zubin: Does that mean job reservations and other kinds of privileges?

Adi: The Parsi Panchayat, I think, gives a thousand rupees for the upkeep of every third child. How much does a thousand amount to these days? It’s better you don’t give any money. They don’t want to part with the money. Earlier, you had great Parsi philanthropists. These days, the Tatas apart, where are they?

Roshan: And why should you have more children? Isn’t it best to focus your attention on two and give them the best in life?

Murali: Some Parsi scholars and priests feel that getting the bachelors and spinsters married is a way out.

Adi (horrified): Not me. Singledom is what I like.

Sarosh: Finding a Parsi for oneself is difficult. I can count the number of Parsi girls I knew on my fingers.

Archana: I think in Delhi and other cities, even children with non-Parsi fathers are now being considered Parsis.

Murali: There is also talk of the stirrings of a Zoroastrian revival in Central Asian countries like Tajikistan.

Bomy: Yes, yes, somebody from Tajikistan was here last month. But if the core is small, how much can you grow? Ease out irrelevant laws and then we’ll have more people. Why can’t children of a Parsi mother be considered Parsis? The mother is responsible for their upbringing, isn’t it?

Adi (eyeing me curiously): Are you going to put all this in the newspaper? Even my age? Why do you want to do that?

Bomy (continuing from where he left off): Let me see, how many are we now? Globally, I think it’s around a lakh. And I think Toronto has the second-largest Parsi community after Mumbai. It is only in Mumbai that you have all this talk. In the US, the laws governing us are a lot less stringent. In time, this will fade away, until the next census.

Murali: It’s not just the media who’s zeroing in on you people these days. Two Parsi-oriented films are also in the offing.

Bomy (resignedly): I’m sure it is going to be more of the same caricature.

Roshan: But we really don’t mind. We like to laugh at ourselves, laugh at ourselves before the others do. Come, let’s have lunch. There’s dhansak, it’s a must in every Parsi home on Sundays.

Zubin: And after lunch, a little siesta. Only then are you a true Parsi.