‘I don’t want to question anymore. There is nothing to ask’

Rajesh Pratap Singh, Designer.

What does spirituality mean to you?

First of all, it is not about organized religions, which for me were invented to deal with human beings’ insecurity about death. Spirituality is something highly personal, and scientific in a sense, it is about an energy in us and all around, that we can communicate with. It is my own daily experiment with it.

Do you believe you are guided and protected by a superior force?

Absolutely, all the time. I have witnessed it over and over again, with so many things happening to me that some would call ‘miracles’. Believing in it feels both good and right.

Do you believe you have a special mission or purpose in this life?

I feel we mostly control our own fate, but that indeed each of us has the potential of carrying a specific purpose in life. And I cannot be Mother Theresa for all, but at least I try in the areas I work in, whether in small villages in Rajasthan or some very high tech projects. And as long as I feel happy, I know I am doing the right thing, what is meant to be, so I do not question it.

What is spirituality for you in your day to day life?

It is not a conscious thing, it is not about rituals, it is simply there all the time in me and everywhere, it is everything. It is belonging to a larger process and just being it. I love going to religious places though, and feel there the fervour and mostly blind faith of people. It has a special energy.

What is the role of spirituality in your work in fashion?

It is there whenever I do some really pure work. I do not like most of my work, but at times, rarely, there is something I really love, that I haven’t seen anywhere else — then it does not feel like mine, it comes from somewhere else, and I am simply a conduit, a channel for it.

Can you tell us about a unique experience that changed or shaped your spiritual beliefs?

Three years ago, following the death of a close friend, I entered a very strong phase of my life, convinced that I would soon die. I couldn’t feel anything anymore. So I stopped working altogether, and I started searching in new ways. I went to Benares to directly engage death, and spent six months there with Siva worshippers, who handle this transformative energy called death. Of course it changed my life and my whole perspective on things. Today I feel really free, I am not attached to this life, I am free to go tomorrow if needed.

What are your spiritual inspirations?

I come from a traditional Rajputh family who like many others in the sixties, converted to the Radha Swami sect of Punjab. They believe in every possible religion. So I grew up in a very open minded environment, where no particular religion was an issue and I actually never entered a temple till the age of 25. It was all free flowing, so my beliefs are none but mine and the fruit of a large array of encounters and personal experiences.

If you were to be reincarnated, what would you like to be reincarnated as?

I am absolutely not concerned by that. I will be what I am meant to be the day it is meant to be. I just know it is all energy, a process of which we are part, and death a passage, a transformation we have to go through.

If there was one question you could ask God, what would it be?

Now really, I just do not want to question anymore, I have done enough of that. I feel there is nothing to ask, it is just about being part of the process. It is not about blind fate or giving up on things, rather it is being completely part of that process, and flowing with it. Besides, who would I ask, as the divine –or that energy– is also me?

What is your idea of happiness?

It is a state of mind, it is the freedom of my mind to be open and flowing. It means being alone so that I can connect with myself and have the strength to deal with all things of life. And the more I get into it, the more I feel free to let go of everything — and the happier I feel.