There is enough ammunition buried in the Jain Commission's 17-volume interim report to be used not just against the DMK but almost everyone else, including, ironically, the Congress and Rajiv Gandhi. Take the following two examples: The commission quotes from a July 1987 report filed by a first secretary in the Indian High Commission in Sri Lanka who had been instructed to liaison with LTTE leader V. Prabhakaran.The diplomat quotes Prabhakaran as telling him,``After all this is only a quarrel between a mother and a child, it is not possible for the LTTE to exist without India and your Prime Minister.'' And guess who was prime minister then?V.P.Singh in his testimony before the commission claimed that Rajiv Gandhi in mid-1989 wanted DMK's Murasoli Maran to convey the message to Prabhakaran that he should distance himself from Premadasa. And if he did so, Gandhi would help secure Eelam for the LTTE.DD's new despotDoordarshan'S new CEO is certainly making waves. Within days of taking over, he has hired a former DD correspondent, Prabhat Dabral, for a phenomenal Rs 2,000 a day working out to Rs 60,000 a month, which is twice Gill's own salary and some four times more than the take-home pay of senior DD supervisory staff. Veteran and popular news reader Geetanjali Aiyer has been dropped arbitrarily from prime time though her internal ranking is among the best in the organisation. Already DD employees - the Programme Staff Association, the Indian Information Service Association and the Engineering Staff Association - have united in their opposition to the new dispensation.Not all Gill's innovations are bad - the news has certainly improved with the removal of the standard sarkari items of ribbon-cutting and speeches - but the CEO's authoritarian ways have spread terror. Employees have been told that for every mistake they make they will be given a memo and if they get three memos they will out of Prasar Bharati.While pre-news censorship has been stopped, Gill has instead installed his trusted men in key positions to ensure that his line - project the UF and play down the BJP - is followed. Gill even told the TV newsroom not to carry the customary photograph of Vajpayee when giving news on his party. Even the Congress gets a raw deal. Kesri's press conference after the dissolution of the Lok Sabha was described as an attempt to cover up his mistakes (lipapoti).What's in a date?On Sunday before last Sitaram Kesri was in a foul mood even though it was supposedly his birthday. By then it was evident that both Gujral and he had been outmanoeuvred. Kesri was heard abusing all and sundry including 10 Janpath, P A Sangma, Narasimha Rao, Arjun Singh and Deve Gowda. The Congress president did not appreciate queries as to how his birthday was being celebrated on November 30 since he has always maintained his family never kept a record of his birth.Apparently, the month of November was chosen at random by Kesri's father when he found out that both Nehru and Indira Gandhi had their birthdays that month. The date seems to have been selected by those who wanted to bring out posters felicitating Kesri and they had to do it before the end of the month. The year of Kesri's birth is still a bit of a mystery since his age is given variously as 72, 78 and 83.Pranab's 10 commandmentsIn the midst of the political crisis, out of the blue the chairman of the Congress Ethics Committee, Pranab Mukherjee, sent a note to all MPs, MLAs and office-bearers. Mukherjee's ten commandants, as one Congress ex-MP called them sarcastically, urged Congressmen not to drink, not to attend marriages which were too ostentatious, wear khadi, remain loyal to the party, declare one's assets and so on.The odd part is that the man who has issued the diktat, does not normally wear khadi, has not declared his assets and HAD once deserted the party to form his Rashstriya Samajwadi Congress. The ostentatious marriage of one of his close relatives two years back was the talk of Calcutta.Formula fatigueIf none of the 18 patch-up formulas to avoid the dissolution of the Lok Sabha worked, it was because political ambitions came in the way. Sitaram Kesri didn't want either P.A. Sangma or G.K. Moopanar to be PM since that would have made him irrelevant in the Congress. Chandrababu Naidu stymied Moopanar's name for he wanted no southern satrap as a potential rival for his future prime ministerial aspirations. Deve Gowda was opposed to Mulayam Singh Yadav. Arjun Singh and Deve Gowda didn't want Gujral restored, since he is close friend of Kesri. As for M. Karunanidhi, he flatly turned down appeals for a face-saving formula by which all Gujral's ministers except six would move out for a limited period.Small wonder then that by the end of it all, CWC member Madhavrao Scindia concluded it was a thankless task playing postman for endless formulas and decided it made better sense to play golf.