Make way while India shines

‘‘The Lotus flower only blooms in the dirty pond,’’ replied Sidhu, ‘‘I am the Lotus of the BJP.’’

‘‘Actually my ambition to enter politics started after Star Sports said since they did not know what I would say when, there would be a seven minute delay whenever I was in the commentary box,’’ disclosed Sidhu. ‘‘I realised viewers would not be able to see matches live whenever I was there so I decided to quit. But in politics they say you can say whatever you want and get away with it.’’

‘‘Who inspires you the most?’’ I asked.

‘‘Me. Nothing inspires me more than myself,’’ said Sidhu, ‘‘I was speaking to Suresh Oberoi who said he learnt a lot from Dara Singh and Hemamalini.’’

‘‘I’m not talking about his acting career,’’ I interrupted.. ‘‘No I’m talking about his political career. Both Hemaji and Daraji are in the BJP,’’ cut in Sidhu. ‘‘In fact, Suresh Oberoi is talking to the junior artistes’ associations who do ‘item’ numbers who can also be roped into the BJP.’’

‘‘How will those scantily clad women help?’’ I wondered…

‘‘The BJP is now reaching out to all kinds of audiences,’’ explained Sidhu. ‘‘It’s sad to see strong committed youngsters not enter politics but be only interested in cricket. But I still feel that cricketers constantly accompanying the Indian team but not playing matches like Parthiv Patel may be interested.’’

‘‘Your views on Article 370…’’ I quizzed.

‘‘I have not studied Article 370 but I can assure you BJP will not compromise on any article,’’ was the reply, ‘‘The party has produced some of the best article writers in the country.’’

‘‘Your thoughts on pseudo-secularism,’’ I prodded.

‘‘…In politics, like cricket, you have to attack everything pseudo. It’s a mind game,’’ revealed Sidhu, ‘‘you have to keep telling yourself you are the best and India is shining anything else you hear is pseudo. In any cases we have all decided only to campaign we are not hankering for any seat.’’

‘‘Why not?’’ I asked.

‘‘We only want to be brand ambassadors,’’ was the retort. ‘‘I am told ambassadors have only to articulate a point of view and get the best perks. They are not accountable for the policies. For instance, we have only to reiterate that India is shining feel and look good all the time.’’

But at home Mukul was looking sullen after hanging up the phone. ‘‘That was Pramod Mahajan,’’ he said. ‘‘Mahajan wanted to know what credentials I had to join a party like the BJP.’’

‘‘He is right,’’ I said wincing at the thought of Mukul serving me coffee with Khaki knickers. ‘‘But come to the point.’’

‘‘My condition for joining the BJP was that I would only campaign,’’ explained Mukul, ‘‘I told Mahajan that joining the BJP these days is like giving a muhurat shot, wait for the signing amount and give dates for appearances!’’

‘‘But didn’t he insist that you should contest?’’ I asked.

‘‘Of course he did.’’ Mukul replied, ‘‘Actually he threw me out when I told him I want to create vision documents, and be the architect of BJP’s election strategy and for that I am eminently qualified — I can never win any election!’’