When the doorbell rings you, more or less, know who it is. Your wife, father, or friend; someone you were expecting. If it’s eight in the morning, it is the doodhwalla or the cook. There are not too many surprises. Occasionally, someone unexpected turns up at the door. Maybe it’s a young student asking for a donation. May be it’s the chowkidar asking for the car to be moved.But the telephone is very different. Every time the telephone rings you can’t be sure as to who it is. It may be a long lost flame who is passing through town. It could be your boss calling to say, you’ve goofed up again. Sometimes, it’s just a wrong number. “Can you deliver two crates of Thums Up in an hour,” a young voice chimes. Amused, you have to express your regrets and say, “Sorry not in an hour.” It may be your brother calling from Denver saying it’s snowing like crazy outside what is the weather like in Mumbai?There is always an element of surprise, “an air of mystery”. The phone may ring at 3 o’ clock in the morning and you begin to wonder what is going on. Is something wrong? Even as you struggle to switch on the light and get to the phone. The shrillness of the ring in the middle of the night pierces you like a dagger. The surprise element is even greater when you are expecting a call and are waiting for it anxiously. You are waiting for a girlfriend to call. You leap towards the phone, all anticipation and it is only the woman from Stanchart offering you a credit card. You may feel gratified that somebody thinks you are creditworthy, but actually you feel cheated.I used to believe that when away from home I was safe from surprises. And then people started exclaiming, “Oh, so you don’t have a mobile phone?” So I got one. Till then I held on to the firm belief that it was easier to borrow a mobile but people soon started reacting negatively to that and it became unpleasant. So now the mobile trails me everywhere like a shadow and when it rings to the tune of ‘Yankee Doodle Dandee’, I hold my breath.Of course, there is a greater element of surprise when the postman rings. He bears letters and bills and the bills may not only surprise you but also distress you. The great consolation of the credit card — ie, to be able to spend money without feeling that you are actually doing so — vanishes when you receive a big fat bill and harsh reality dawns. But that surprise has now vanished as the credit card company invariably sends an SMS before the bill lands and most likely you have heard the shocking contents long before.If a letter has a surprise you would have heard about it earlier either by e-mail or by telephone. Actually the postman never knocks anymore. He slips his deadly cargo in the letter box at the foot of the building. An occasional telegram will bring a broad smile to your face or a tear to your eye but that is a rare occurrence these days. So next time the doorbell rings, don’t hold your breadth. But next time the telephone rings.Beware.
