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Journalism of Courage
There are no two ways about it: television sucks in the afternoons. Or afternoon TV is a snore-bore. Mornings are much better: you have breakfast shows which you manage to swallow along with your favorite cuppa, and international news left over from the night before when it was day time in the Western world, and the weather prognosis for the day so that you know what (not) to wear, and the morning Sensex surge to 7,000 all because the Ambani brothers divided their business empire, and the latest juicy statement from a BJP leader who knows that if he lets drop a few careless remarks in the morning they will be headline news for the entire day… Yes, morning television is worth the watch.
That leaves you with the entertainment and sports channels. Since it is too hot in this part of the world, the only games we play are indoors. And while there is plenty of action in Europe — cricket’s Natwest Trophy, tennis at Wimbledon, soccer in Germany at the Federation Cup, given the time difference, it’s all in the evening or at night. You can watch the repeats but that’s not huge on fun when you have already heard or read the result in the morning.
As for the entertainment channels, they tend to sneer on the afternoons. Either they repeat shows telecast originally the evening before which are strictly for Tulsi camp followers or they are into the re-run mode so if you missed seeing Shanti or Banegi Apni Baat say, 10 years ago, you are fortunate enough to catch up with it now. Wow, a real siesta pill. Since production values have improved so vastly, old serials, however good they were in our memory, appear covered in a film of dust as though someone forgot to dust them down. Oldie is often goldie but more often than not it is also mouldy.
There are a few original afternoon shows on Star Plus like Kumkum or Shagun but they are so much like the serials you watched the night before – replace Kumkum with Parvati and nobody would notice the difference — so you have to be completely devoid of discrimination to indulge in them.
That leaves us with the movie channels. They are either doing the repeat thing too — and usually it is the vile late night films with a rating of one star or those with creepie crawlies. It’s amazing how many films are produced about creatures who only live in the imagination of their creators and are so ugly you have to close your eyes for an immediate afternoon nap.
The Hindi film channels are no better: they spend the afternoons in the past so you can watch Jeetu and Dharam and even Biswajeet in tight sixties trousers, oily hair and rouge on their cheeks. Or what about Sadhana and Asha Parekh in their lehengas and eye make-up caked on like batter? Hmmmn. Alternatively, there will always be an Amitabh Bachchan movie on one of the channels, so you can admire him without his grey hair in those long sleeve buttoned down shirts over his trousers. However, since he is also running on several channels every evening, to say nothing of dancing at the IIFA Awards (Star Plus) in Amsterdam alongwith Abhishek and Aishwarya, you sometimes want to cry out, ‘‘Bachchan se bachao’’.
You’re left with three options: find another, worthier occupation like sleeping or sms-ing, do some work (house or otherwise) or watch the music channels. The first is the most self-indulgent, the second more virtuous and the latter the one you choose if you must watch TV, because you can listen to music and enjoy a little shut-eye at the same time.
