The humour deficit

Budget day is normally an occasion for introspection but it is also a time of wit and humour in Parliament, press and among the common peopl...

Budget day is normally an occasion for introspection but it is also a time of wit and humour in Parliament, press and among the common people. When Nehru presented his only budget after the sudden resignation of T.T. Krishanamchari, he skipped the dots and decimal points. When a member pointed this out, Nehru remained unruffled and said: ‘In matters of high finance, I am a bird of passage’.

An Indian budget is generally marked by three features: a new budget head, a few Urdu couplets and some economy measures. To match Dr Manmohan Singh’s stale Urdu verses Chidambaram brought fresh Tamil couplets to create a fiscal balance. In the US when President Roosevelt was informed by the chancellor of the exchequer that 20 horses had been removed from the White House as a measure of economy, he inquired casually:

“Where have they been lodged now”?

“In old castle, sir,” came the reply.

“Will they eat less hay there”? the President asked.

Charles Dickens once said that the best budget is one where income exceeds expenditure. Through the mouth of Micawber, he said in David Copperfield ‘Income 20 Pounds, Expenditure 19.99 Pounds: Result Happiness. Income 20 Pounds, expenditure 20.01 Pounds: Result Unhappiness! In democracies the most we can expect is a less unhappy budget than the last year’s.

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Etymologically the word ‘budget’ is derived from a Latin expression ‘Bougette’ adopted first by the French meaning a leather bag. The practice of making a statement of merchandise and its mathematics is Gallic in origin, when the ancient Gauls used to embark on long journeys carrying leather bags. Although long journeys have disappeared the bag remains.

Gladstone’s budget bag, it is said, is still preserved. When Disraeli severely criticised Gladstone’s liberal measures and free trade policy, the latter told Disraeli: “You will end yourself either on the gallows or by a very loathsome disease”. Known for sharp wit and repartee, Disraeli shot back: “That depends on the fact whether I embrace your principles or your mistress”.

Once there was a great deal of humour on budget day. When the Estate Duties Bill was being passed many years ago, the inimitable V.N Gadgil rose from his seat and said: ‘I have advised all the rich people of Bombay to die before the Estate Duties Bill was passed’. Similarly when V.P. Singh cautioned the dishonest transactionists of property he ended his speech thus: “If they do not heed to my advice it will be between them, the Income Tax Department and God.” When a member once asked Manmohan Singh why he kept saying WB, he said, “This time my reference is not the World Bank but West Bengal.”