Too big for small screen

In future, the producer can ensure Sridevi sits down without diminishing her stature, but they need to raise the level of the script and dialogues. Why, Judge Desai being accused of raping his younger colleague during the World Social Forum was funnier and a good sight more intelligent. By asking her alleged rapist to wear the condom she offered him before raping her, she protected herself from pregnancy or AIDS and displayed a rare sense of black humour in extraordinary circumstances.

Try as Sridevi might to wiggle her nose and hips, this ‘‘B.A.in Tamil jisme English bhi shamil’’, could not breathe life into her lines, irrespective of language. In Hindi she sounded English, in English Tamil, and in Tamil incomprehensible.

The North-South joke has been cracked before in sitcoms such as Ghar Jamai: Satish Shah and Madhavan were well-matched in a similar Punjab-Tamil struggle. As Malini Iyer, Sridevi has no worthy opponent or supporting cast. She’s left with one weapon in her arsenal when the script lets her down: Bharat Natyam. This is presumably for those culturally challenged viewers who think uttapam is a pizza and Sridevi da Punjab.

If Jassi Jaisi Koi Nahin or Kasauti Zindagi Kay work despite shortcomings, it is because they have characters, not people draped in cloth.

We really love Sridevi, so let’s hope the show improves. Meanwhile, would someone explain why film actors feel obliged to make fools of themselves on television? Why?

This week witnessed the beginning of another TV saga but its title is undecided: should it be Kahani Ek Ghar Ki, Kyunki Priyanka Bhi Kabhi Gandhi Thi (before she became a Vadra), or Priyanka… The Miracles of Family? Some top Congressman are tempted to call it simply ‘Rahul’ seeing that there is no serial which bears the name of a man and, since more film and TV characters have have been named after him, why not give the public the original? Sonia ji opposes the latter because the Pranab Mukherjee committee instituted to look into last week’s Priyanka and Rahul Amethi TV op, discovered that Rahul has misplaced his Hindi — perhaps in Columbia where he found his girlfriend? Also, on this showing, Priyanka deserves to be the star of the show.

Cricket could do with fewer stars, off the field. Greedy to cash in on the success of the Indian team in Australia, news channels have sent reporters to kangaroo down there and former cricketers to play armchair cricket in the studio. Tune in on a match day at 7.30 p.m. (or thereabouts) and see Saba Karim play cricket psephology on Aaj Tak, Ashok Malhotra, W.V. Raman and Sadanand Vishwanath conduct post mortems with the same expertise as a father describing child birth (Sahara Samay) and then there’s Navjot Singh Sidhu (NDTV 24X7). His bat used to do the talking for him until he retired and discovered that’s a function of his mouth — he’s busy making amends ever since. Listen carefully to all of them and you’ll hear almost the same comments every time.

Lastly, economist Prof. Debroy needs to do two things: tie his hair in a pony tail and learn a few manners. His rudeness to a participant at the WSF, should ensure he is never invited into a studio again (The Big Story, NDTV 24X7).