Tripping over

The early days were plagued by fear and depression. “I kept wondering whether the babies would be normal; it is generally believed that triplets are born with some congenital problems. My doctor even advised me to drop one child. But I just could not bring myself to do that. So all through my pregnancy, I stayed home, out of fear that I’d trip and hurt the children.”

Akash, Akshay and Aman were born normal, but right from day one, Kanta had a tough time looking after them. Says she, “For the first one month, I had a nurse with me. Feeding was a huge chore. I’d feed Akash and Akshay at the same time. For Aman, who was born slightly underweight, I ‘d extract the milk in a bottle. But till they were three months old, I did not know what it was like to sleep. For the nights were one long session of feeding and nappy-changing.”

Parenting formulas are fine for a single baby, but when you are dealing with triplets, you have to make your own. “Doctors do advise that babies be fed on demand, but when you have three babies to feed, you don’t go as per their demands. Right from the beginning, I made it a point to give them their feeds every four hours and made sure that they finished all the milk in their bottles. That is the only way I could survive”.

Discipline is another ally of this mother of three. Without this, even a car-ride can become a harrowing experience. “We have a rule that everyone gets a turn to sit in the front seat. This means that Sunil and I have to remember who sat in the front seat on which day. It is quite a hassle but it’s better than having them fight”.

The triplets do have three tricycles, one for each, but the rest is all shared. Says Kanta, “I buy toys that are inexpensive, so it is easy on the pocket. But otherwise I spend on expensive books, which they share. Even the computer is shared. If one sits for half an hour in the morning, then I tell him that it’s his brother’s turn in the afternoon and the third fellow’s turn in the evening. Of course, that means I run through the same schedule three times, but that’s how it is.

“The spirit of sharing is so strong among them that even when they go for a birthday party, Aman, who is street-smart, will pick up all the toys and sweets from the khoie bag while Akshay, who is quiet and timid, will land up with nothing. But Aman, without being told, always shares the spoils with his brothers,” she continues.

The boys may share the same birthday, but they do not share the cake. On their third birthday, Kanta had a separate cake for all three. “That is one thing they are very conscious about. They simply must have their own cake to cut.”

Out of habit, they now wear identical clothes. “In the beginning, it was cute and now they have grown accustomed to it. If I give a different set to each of them, they immediately object. But I am slowly trying to wean them away from this. I have started with different shoes, and so far, there have been no objections.

“I do not want that they grow up with this huge label – triplets. They should also realise that they are individuals, and as a parent, I do not want their life to be limited to being triplets, though it can be overwhelming. Wherever they go, that is the first thing anyone notices, so it is hard for them to escape it. But I am making a conscious effort and hope that when they grow up, they will be known as Aman, Akash, and Akshay, not as `the triplets’.