Lets begin this week with a question: as a news viewer,would you rather watch news about the Taliban attack on the Karachi naval base or about Osama bin Ladens five wives who were at each others hair and throats all the time? Be honest. You may believe that everyone would be far more interested,indeed greatly concerned about the hamla on the Karachi naval base and the fear that Pakistans nuclear installations may be the future target of a Taliban raid but you might be wrong. That is what the Hindi news channels are gambling on Monday night,while the English news anchors looked grim-faced and as though they were facing a nuclear warhead,channels like News 24 and India TV offered us the not-so merry widows of the al-Qaeda chief. It was a choice between doomsday scenarios (what if Pakistans nukes are stolen by the Taliban?) and gossip girls (what did the wife Najwa have against the wife Amal?). If news was to be judged for sheer inventiveness and creativity,the choice would have to be the old and young wives tales. Citing some book,News 24 claimed that Osama could have been betrayed by his wives; that the oldest of them,Najwa,hated the others because now hear this they were educated and she was not. What did she want to do send them letter bombs? India TV took up the story and gave it another twist: according to the channel,the other wives detested the young one,Amal,because Osama bin Laden was besotted with her. On the night of his death,she reportedly tried to shield him with her body but she was shot in the ankle and so she and her brave effort to save him,fell flat. This report was colourfully illustrated with comic reconstructions that did no justice to her reported bravery. Dawood Ibrahim is the other Hindi channel favourite. When theyre out of news,they turn to him. With Osama out of the reckoning,hes the man in focus as the new Public Enemy Number One. Now if only someone could spot him. Apparently,this is tough because no one knows what he looks like any longer. India TV,therefore,speculated on his looks: they did a visual projection which showed a plump face with a greying,straggly French beard,puffy eyes and balding head. But then we were told that well-informed sources claimed the Don had changed the direction of his moustache! It was so preposterous that you watched,fascinated,at the sheer audacity of it all. And sometimes,just sometimes,it is better than the fatalistic pronouncements on English news. In another corner is Baba Ramdev,who is launching his own news channel on Aastha. There are regular news briefings on travels with Ramdev as he goes from village to village in Madhya Pradesh giving people his blessings and receiving their homage. These days he teaches yoga less and politics more. As the date for his satyagraha against corruption nears,hes exhorting people to come out and join him because those who do not are as corrupt as those who are corrupt,if you get his meaning. Apart from kaala dhan,hes got land acquisition rights and state funding for elections on his mind,not pranayama. Hes also for changing the Constitution of India or so it seemed,when he asked his audience how many of them would like to directly elect the prime minister (they raised their hands as one). Hes leaving nothing to chance for his showdown in Delhi in June. He helpfully provided a mobile number you can call to support these worthy causes. And he didnt forget to thank his sponsors,sorry,supporters: Lucky Cable,Aggarwalji,etc. Its said that you move from worldliness to spiritualism. Ramdev is headed in the other direction,but then hes good at headstands,isnt he? Lastly,saw a good interview with K. Pathmanathan,the LTTEs former arms-procurer on CNN-IBN. He apologised for the mistake of V. Prabhakaran,for the death of Rajiv Gandhi. He cried. So now what? And finally,is there a reason why the cricket commentators wore kurtas at the match between Chennai Super Kings and Royal Challengers Bangalore (Sony Max)? If there is,cant think of what it could be. shailaja.bajpai@expressindia.com
