Welcome to the Matrix

Although Al Qaeda has not yet claimed responsibility, intimate sources have told our Security Correspondent the expectation that this is the work of Muslim militant groups cannot be ruled out. We cannot confirm whether this is a terrorist attack, the identity of the attackers, casualties or, for that matter, anything else.

CNN International

Anchor: We are switching off our own correspondent, let’s listen in, instead, to our affiliate ITN correspondent who is answering questions you cannot hear.

ITN Correspondent, roadside Ayodhya: Yes, that was a loud explosion behind me. There is chaos with hundreds of security personnel — I just saw a few more rushing on cycles. Six terrorists have entered the inner sanctum of the makeshift temple and eyewitness accounts speak of a pitched battle in progress. Bystanders say there are many casualties and at least one man has been blown up. Sadhu Prasad, you have just returned from an encounter with the terrorists?

Sadhu Prasad: Yes, I was 10 metres away when five men carrying grenades, guns and big bombs ran past me. One of them even asked me the way to Sita Rasoi… Suddenly, the jeep took off and exploded in the air and a man without limbs rose and fell… There was smoke, fire, no doctor was on hand to treat us… I thought I was going to die….

Anchor: Richard Quest, what can you add?

Quest in trenchcoat: I am standing outside the same railway station I stand outside every time I alight here. Behind me trains arrive with passengers…

Aaj Tak:

Headline: Laden London mein

Breaking News: British Nationalist Party Burns Middle East (flags?).

Visuals: Extreme close-ups of bloodied faces, close-up of bus, preferably burning, otherwise in cinders, police everywhere with guns cocked.

Anchor: Yesterday’s smiles, after the successful Olympic bid, have been replaced by today’s tears as six bomb blasts kill 34 people. More are expected. Hundreds are critically injured. London has come to a halt, there is a high alert throughout the country. All transport, all communications have been permanently suspended. People have been asked not to even speak to one another. Now, we take you to the Nationalist Party headquarters where Mr Extreme Right is addressing the nation.

Mr Extreme: This is the work of Prime Minister Blair and his American chamcha, President Bush. They have been too soft on terrorism. This is not only an attack on the sacred soil of Britain — it is on the person of the Queen. But this is not the first time we have had to face Muslim wrath — remember Mohammed Bin Ghazni invaded India to make our colonising it more difficult? We call upon all white men, everywhere, to strike…

Anchor: We interrupt with exclusive footage, only and first on Aaj Tak, of the bus exploding…

Star News

Anchor stands in front of a large empty screen. ‘Breaking News’ flashes on it.

Anchor: Since we cannot take you live to London, we have on the phone our correspondent in Delhi who will describe what she sees on other news channels. We have also reconstructed the entire incident for you on a compuer graphic. After a short break, we will bring you a complete history of terrorist attacks on Britain that might explain, akhir yeh kyon hua.

P.S.

Visuals: An item number in smoky atmo from one of last Friday’s film releases.

Anchor: Filmi duniya kab tak smokescreen ke peeche Ramadoss se chhipega?