What we really want!

That, however, still doesn’t explain the feminist paradox women often submerge themselves in. She talks about being independent yet she gets offended if partner/ boyfriend/ mate doesn’t open the door for her/ pull out a chair; she passionately endorses the idea that `real beauty is within’, yet she is obsessed with acquiring the Kate Moss look. Walk into a coffee shop in the city and you will hear a PYT discussing `withdrawal symptoms’ because of the lack of a man in her life.

So what exactly is this new, Indian woman about? She discreetly distances herself from being labelled a feminist for fear of being thought of as a man-hater. Yet she claims to be a supporter of women’s rights.

“I think real feminism is a very vague, all encompassing term. I have met people who label women who smoke or are forth-right, about their views as feminist. Personally I feel in challenging the ground rules of male chauvinism would lie a certain breed of feminism,” feels Tara Malhotra, an M.Phil student at the very politically correct JNU. Ask Malhotra what a perfect date would mean to her and her eyes take on a dreamy, glazed look. “He would have pamper me silly and do all the things traditional feminists would frown upon,” she giggles.

Her sister Mallika, who is studied changing perspectives of feminism through history, feels that “Women have been using their sensuality as a source of power since medieval times. But unlike in the 1980s when bra-burning and beauty contests were major issues, today’s woman does not look at her obsession and indulgence in beauty as something anti-feminist.” So women are confused about how to perceive feminism and the boundaries it creates? But then how do men feel about this changing trend? Some have reacted positively, some not so positively but most are still trying to figure it out. An interesting insight comes from Piyush Gupta, an MBA student who feels “There are three kinds of feminists – the in-your face ones who you have to be on constant alert with; the ones who have never heard that it exists (those are pretty easy to deal with), but the biggest challenge comes with the woman who claims she is not a feminist in the `real’ sense of the term but nevertheless has an opinion on everything. She justmight stand up and slap you in the face for making a seemingly innocuous statement, at the same time she expects to be pampered and wined and dined after.” Most men of course, would put it down to the Men-are-from-Mars, Women-are-from Venus theory.

Women, however, feel men are not responding too well to the changes, probably still weighing where the tide is turning. In the West, old-age feminists have raised a banter over the fluffy, frivolous feminism portrayed by the media that is now replacing the serious day-to-day problems confronting this movement. The Spice Girls mantra of `Girl Power’ might no longer be hot but it spawned an entire generation of girls idolising the guy bashing themes it had to offer. Then the eternal worrier – Why does Ally McBeal the single and very neurotic, emotionally unstable and mini-skirted heroine of the sitcom of the same name represent the new feminist of this generation? opposed to this is actress Kate Winslet, very comfortable with her well endowed figure and not afraid to flaunt it — she represents the “I create my own feminism” sort of breed. Though women in India as compared to the West might have a different social upbringing, emotions run in the same vein everywhere. you don’t have to be radically differentor bash a guy up just to prove your feminist leanings. The new credo is – flaunt your individuality. If it works, it works. If it doesn’t no problem – you can always create another new movement!