When Aloo’ makes French Fries of his partners

With 22 yards wicket-to-wicket, the Pakistan World Cup cricketer rarely gets halfway before deciding he would rather return from whence he came, whatever the feelings of the man hurtling towards him from the non-striker’s end.

Often the result sees two angry men standing side by side, gesticulating wildly while arguing who should be the one to risk the precarious journey back.

It’s highly comical, highly entertaining — unless you come from Islamabad, Lahore or Karachi and have a history of cardiac problems — and goes a long way to explaining Inzamam’s growing cult popularity at the tournament.

Inzamam — nicknamed aloo (potato) — simply spells entertainment. A man mountain, he is one of the most pugnacious strikers of the ball in the game, he has delicate touch of an engraver and is unquestionably one of the worst runners that the sport has ever beenlucky enough to see.

Former Pakistan captain Imran Khan says: "Inzamam is such a wonderful batsman to watch but he must be a nightmare to bat with…. (it) looks as if he does not know what he is doing half the time.

"His running between the wickets is appalling. Inzamam does not appear to grab even the basics of running and calling."

It’s a combination, however, that cannot fail to endear the fans. How often they have got themselves tangled up in similarly absurd situations on village greens. Inzamam’s antics make him human. One of them.

Sharp running is now a key element of the one-day game.

Stolen singles win matches, pressurise fielders, force opposing captains into unwise tactical changes and irritate bowlers.

The South Africans are experts at it, with the quick-thinking, scampering Jonty Rhodes the best of all. He has the acceleration and turning circle of a whippet. Inzamam is more like an overloaded ocean liner.

Australia’s Waugh twins are said to have an almost telepathic understandingwhen they bat together.

Denis Compton, in contrast, did not even enjoy a basic understanding with himself when it came to running.

One of England’s greatest batsmen of all time — he made 123 centuries — Compton’s running, however, was legendary.

It was once written that when he called for a run it was no more than a basis for negotiation, typical calls consisted of: Yes, in fact no… Hang on… Oh all right… Wait… Get back… Oh bugger!"

Indians, meanwhile, still laugh at the memory of the New Delhi Test of 1974 against the West Indies, when Parthasarthy Sharma — as hefty and slow-moving as Inzamam — and Abid Ali. As quick as anyone, ended up heading towards the same end, Sharma finishing his first run and Abid midway through his second.

Inzamam has been run out 29 times in his career. He rose to new heights on Sunday against Australia at Headingley.

After failing to run out Abdul Razzaq despite several good tries, he finally succeeded with Yousuf Youhana. Inzamam refused to answer hispartner’s call and stubbornly remained in his crease.

A stony-faced Youhana ran past him and kept on going towards the pavilion, not bothering to glance back.

Despite his antics, however, Inzamam made a match-winning 81, then finally succeeded in running himself out, rubbing a sore toe in the middle of the pitch instead of dashing to the other end.

A couple of years ago, Pakistan’s current captain Wasim Akram was overheard lecturing Inzamam as they headed for the crease.

Inzamam, looking downcast, mumbled something in half-hearted defence as Akram said: "I don’t care what you think, it’s either yes or no — not a word more."

The message, fortunately, has yet to get through.