You saw her being crowned the most beautiful girl in India just the other day. And then she gave it all away, so very quietly. And she has been very quiet since then. I am glad she has agreed to break her silence now. I am glad to speak to you. And to the audience. • It's been a tough couple of weeks for you. Yes, it's been tough. But I have taken it in my stride and I am going on with my life. • It's a sizeable stride, as I can see, but tell me exactly what happened. I can remember the pre-judging that happened before the show as if it happened yesterday. I took into the pre-judging quite well. I was comfortable. At the end of it, I was quite comfortable that I had done well. I was hoping for the best. The next day was the day of the show. I tried to remain as calm as possible. I was a little nervous. The show went quite smooth. I was one of the top nine. I won Miss Perfect 10 and I won Miss Photogenic. I was really thrilled. After that was the question and my famous chivalry answer. I've really been complimented for that answer. • What was the question and what was the answer? The question was from one of the most renowned designer-choreographers of the country, Hemant Trivedi. He asked me, when a man opens a door for a woman or pulls a chair for her, is it because he sees it as equality or is it because of male chauvinism. I thought for a second and I realised it is neither equality nor chauvinism. And that's what my answer was. I said it's chivalry and chivalry isn't dead even today. I felt that I am proud of all the men on this planet who have kept chivalry alive upto today and that's what I got complimented for. • But that's not too many men! Yes, a lot of men came up to me and said it's a fabulous answer. • I mean not too many men have kept chivalry alive. People I've met have. • But you became victim of some. what happened subsequently. How did you feel when you got the crown? When I got the crown, I was thrilled. I was dazed. It never sank into me that the crown was on my head. It was just happening. I was very happy and there were a lot of TV interviews happening. That night, my friends and I sat in my room and chatted upto 3 am about the happenings of the evening. The next morning, it was an outing in Mumbai and meeting all the sponsors of the event, giving public appearances. There were million people coming up and taking autographs. It was a dream-come-true day for me. That was the next day. • Then something happened to break that dream? That's the sad bit. the whole thing started somewhere in the Provogue lounge where one of the news channels had got a bit of news from somewhere. All this broke out. I never thought it would blow up into such a big hype. And the same night I got a call from the Times saying that there is a bit of bad news here. Just don't get taken aback next morning if there's a little bit of publicity about it in the morning. And they thought we will handle it in the morning. That's how it all started. • Publicity means stories on news channels. Yes, there was this news that my landlady had spoken about. • Saying that for renting the house you had claimed that you were married. Yes, yes. • And then what happened? The next morning? The next morning I had to clarify to the Times that whatever I said to the landlady was only because I needed the house at that time. And I could not find a house in Mumbai. My ramp career was taking off to the skies and I was becoming a very busy model. I had to find a house for myself. Wherever I went in Mumbai, they wouldn't give the house to a girl who's single and especially if she's in the show business. They just don't. • What are the kind of things people said to you when you asked for a house on your own? They would just say no. They didn't want a single girl, especially because I was in show business, to live in their house. They felt it was just not done. So. • Did they just turn you away? Or. They would just say no. We don't give our house to a single girl. We want a married couple. • That's funny. In a city like Mumbai which is so liberal. They say it's liberal. But from my experience and the experiences of several of my friends, it's not liberal in that aspect. I was shunned away from several houses. I desperately needed a house. When I went to this place I thought if they need a married woman, fine, I will declare that. I guess that was a big mistake. • But you are certainly not married. I am not married. • Not married, almost married, living-in. Although funnily, that doesn't break the rule. No, I am not living-in, I am not married. That's it. I am single. • So you definitely signed this just to get the house. Yes. • Is that something that a lot of people do, a lot of girls do, particularly in your business of modelling and glamour? Do they have to do this? From what I know, several of my friends have done this and I hope they remain in their homes safely. That they don't face the problems I have faced. • Is this par for the course that if you don't get a house, just claim to be married? Get a friend, a male friend, a boy friend, whatever, and just say you are married? That's an easy way out actually. But I took that route as I was very busy as a model and I was travelling internationally every now and then. At least two times a month. So I had no time to go out finding more and more. I did try a lot. But I couldn't go on anymore. So I took this route. • But you know of many people who have done exactly this. Yes. • And it's not held against them even in their personal lives? Their families, boyfriends, their future husbands, saying that how come you were married? No, it wouldn't. Because it was only for the purpose of the house. • So it is accepted as such. It's a common practice. Yes. Not a common practice but for the sake of a roof over a girl's head, it happens. It does. • Are many of those friends telling you aren't lucky. That this is just the usual thing to do? A lot of my friends stood by me. They said bad times do come, just take it in your stride and go on. • Why didn't you make that point more strongly and say that look, I wasn't married. This was just a, if I can use the expression, a marriage of convenience. Why hold that against me? Why give it up so easily? I didn't give it up easily. It was a lot of emotional stress on me and even my family. My parents were pretty upset about the whole thing. I didn't want to hold on to the crown when there was so much of bad publicity about it. And there was so much of extra hype about something that never existed. • But did people give you sufficient chance to explain yourself? I did clarify myself to the Times. • That's the organisers. Yes and that's where I needed to clarify. All this was emotionally very heavy on me and I didn't want it. I wanted to go on with my life. So I decided I will voluntarily give up my crown. • And what happened with your family, with your friends? Did some of them advise you not to give up? Did they say: `What's the big deal?' They stood by me. It was emotionally strainful on me. And stressful. So they said: `If this is your decision, we stand by you.' And they stood by me just as before. • Describe to me your feelings when you decided to give it up. I don't remember much in detail because it was a lot of stress on me and I decided I don't have to go through that stress. I am not married. But there was too much of hype on all that. So I decided that I will give up the crown and keep my happiness to myself. • But it was a traumatic decision to give up the crown. Wasn't it? Yes, I put my heart and soul into winning the crown. That's a true fact. I had given a good performance. Winning the crown was really a big thing for me and when all this happened it did hurt me a lot. But all the stress was too much for me. The media hype, media scrutiny was too much for me to take emotionally. So I put my happiness against the crown. I thought I might as well give it up. It wasn't easy. It wasn't easy at all. • Did you think like that at that point or are you rationalising now? Putting your happiness against the crown. Because the crown is also a lot of happiness and joy. It was happiness initially but because of the crown the media scrutiny came along. And all this happened because of that so I said if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. So. • Is that why you've chosen to keep so quiet after that? Yes, there was a lot of emotional stress on me. And I needed to get over it for a while. Now I am back. • Were you scared? Controversy in the beginning of your career? Yes, I was. It would scare any young woman. I was scared a lot, I didn't want it at all. I had won the crown and I wanted to be the role model that I had dreamt of being. This controversy did add a black mark and I didn't want it. I was scared. • How did your family handle it? They were very supportive. They stood by me just like before winning the crown. They encouraged me then. And now they guided me every moment. They respected my decision to give up the crown. It was a voluntary decision but they did support me. • You are a family of doctors. In fact, glamorous doctors. You are a doctor, your sister is also a doctor but she also does some work for cinema. I believe she lives in America and comes to India to do item numbers. Yes. • And one of your brothers is a doctor too. So how do you combine all this? Usually God isn't so unfair as to give all kinds of talents and great looks in one family. It's all in the genes. Medicine is our profession and we love it. And modelling is a passion for me just as movies is a passion for my sister. We have the capacity to manage both. We are dedicated and sincere people. • With doctors like you, patients won't recover soon. They'd like to hang on in the hospital. That's part of it. • Do you have complaints? Do you think people were unfair to you? Either the media or the organisers? Do you think this could've been handled better? Differently? I feel it was hyped up more than anything. There was nothing. There was no marriage. so.whatever there was, it was only for the sake of a roof over my head. They could've pardoned it and handled it better. But. • When you say ``they'', you mean the media or the organisers? Both. Since there was no substance in the whole issue, the way it was hyped, I don't think it should've been done. It could've been pardoned and just forgotten about. • So you feel hard done by? I don't want to think about it. I had my moment of glory. That's mine forever. That nobody can take away from me. I had the crown for a day. I am happy about it. I got a lot of public support. Even now I get a lot of public support. People send me emails. They call me up to say you deserved the crown and you got it. But what happened just happened. It's bad times. Just forget it. • So what are the kind of things people say to you in these emails and phone calls? They talk about my answer and say I was amazing on stage. They loved my presence on stage. There's always support and sympathy with which they say bad times happen but you will come out shining and you'll be stronger because of all these experiences. And all that matters a lot. • I am curious about something. This business has people like you- young, beautiful and ambitious people like you who come from small towns. This is a tough world in Mumbai. Many of the families would be apprehensive of sending their daughters to Mumbai. Then you struggle. But your fortunes are managed by people like me. When I say like me, I mean people in my age group. And mostly men. Right? Do you sometimes think, particularly in view of this experience, that these men, of my generation, are out of sync with your life? That we don't quite understand or appreciate how you struggle, how you lead your life. and the realities? You know. living alone, living together, relationships. it's all part of young people's lives now. I know what you are getting at. In my case, I think it could've been handled better. They could've been more understanding, saying that this is a young woman who has come from a different town. She tried for several places but she couldn't get it so that's why she's taken this particular route. They could've been more understanding about it. That's what I feel. • If you were on the jury and there was a Lakshmi Pandit with the same problem, you wouldn't have taken the crown away? No, I wouldn't have. Maybe because I have gone through the same experiences. But even otherwise, I would certainly understand that it's difficult for a young woman to come and establish herself in this town, find a place for herself and support herself. It is very hard. • So it is in fairness that you shouldn't be so judgemental about young people? Yes. And especially when there is nothing to be judgemental about. In my case, there's no substance to hype up. • And this has got nothing to do with moral character. Not at all. People I have worked with love me. They know me as a person. They know me by my morals and they could've been a lot more understanding, to be honest. • Let me talk a bit about coming from a small town and living in Mumbai, making it out in a very tough, very competitive world. How difficult is it? It is very hard. When I came here, I knew nobody from the industry. I had a few friends who were models and I had to get contacts through them. And initially you get no recognition. • No sugar daddy, no famous second name. No, no, nothing of the sort for me. Nothing at all. • But tell me in some detail some incidents in your struggle when you felt lonely or you found it tough, you found the going tough in Mumbai. Apart from finding a house. There have been tough moments apart from finding a house. I would feel very lonely as I was living alone and there were times when I went up to people and didn't get work. That kind of rejection is not easy to take. There've been times when I have cried saying that am I not good enough. But then, gradually, I went on with it. I was dedicated, I used to do my workouts, I used to do my diet. • It's a lot of hard work to prepare for Miss India? It is. Yes. • It is like preparing for MBBS finals? Better or worse? Equal to that. We have to do our workouts, we have to do our meditations to sharpen our focus on things. We have to rehearse answers, learn about current affairs and speak in front of the mirror to see how confident we look, the way we speak. • But you had two advantages. One, you could always go back to medicine. That's not true for many others. And second, you had friends and particularly had this friend. Just friend or boyfriend. Friend. • Who's himself a successful model. Do you think the controversy he got into was the consequence of the media spotlight on you? Do you feel bad about it? It was just an innocent process of finding a roof over my head and he helped me with it. But in that process, both of us shot each other in the leg. That's it. • As you said, that's something many people do. Yes. • But even if you are living together, what's the big deal? Why should anybody be judgemental? Or should they? If you were asked the same question in the Miss India pageant, what would your answer be? What's the question exactly? • The question is: Married women aren't eligible for this award. Should women in live-in relationships be eligible? What's the answer? Married women are not eligible because the title's a ``Miss''. Live-in relationships. It is upto the type of upbringing. As long as they are not married, it's all right. • So those who are sitting in judgement had better grow up and understand this reality. I guess so.
