Who wants to buy a cricketer?

But no, they wouldn’t go away. Endlessly, mercilessly, continuously (!), TV news discussed and waved the price tags in our faces (very colourful, eye-pleasing price tags, it must be said) but once merchandise goes under the hammer, it’s as flat as punctured tyre for the viewer. We want to see how much the next chunk, sorry hunk, goes for. And, since Shah Rukh Khan was wearing a T-shirt over his six packs (does he still have them, or have they gone the way of all flesh?), Preity her hair and cards close to her chest, we didn’t have the pleasure of an eye-ball (as in having a ball?). Frankly, when we want to gaze upon the Khan of Kolkata’s Prince Charming, it’s with the bat swinging the ball for a six, not a trouser-jacket blinking at numbers and names the way he does between facing balls.

At the end of Wednesday, we felt a little like Ishant Sharma: overwhelmed. He, by being a near-crorepati at 19; we, by 19 hours of coverage. Did nothing happen to the billion plus other Indians that could have made a headline or two?

The next day, CNN-IBN was the first to question the sale’s largesse. Thursday night, anchor Sagarika Ghose launched a provocative and lively debate on whether Vijay Mallya & Co. didn’t think they could have spared a few crores for India’s poor while they were in this generous mood. And while Mallya gave a very good account of himself — looking every bit the part of a profit Samaritan — we had to cut away to Messrs Sharif and Zardari who chose that moment to hold a press conference on their future and Pakistan’s.

This was an equally fascinating television moment, not because of their historic agreement, not because of what they said or didn’t say but because many of us couldn’t hear what they had to say. While CNN-IBN and Times Now broke with regular programming for the PC, NDTV 24×7 stayed with the money game called cricket. Hindi news channels follow their own nose for news: Aaj Tak was busy sniffing around Mahabharat. A good half an hour later, it was sniffing out criminals on Vardaat, so was Star News on Sansani. Odd, given that they’re always breaking news that has about as much news value as yesterday’s headlines.

Such excesses, omissions and commissions occur rather too frequently. We suggest TV channels visit a stationary shop and purchase a good old fashioned ruler: yes, to rap themselves on the knuckles and to provide a measured scale of things to their coverage.

Lastly, we know we are the Ambanis, Mallyas, Wadias and Khans of cricket and they are Down Under but should Sunil Gavaskar treat Aussies as though they are beneath us? During Sunday’s encounter, he went on air when Ponting was flowing and said he hoped his being there would see India take a wicket. Shouldn’t he, at least, pretend that in the game on the field, they are more often than not, on top?

shailaja.bajpai@expressindia.com