WORLDLY UNWISE

When Clintardo took on Obamiano
WASHINGTON: What do famous Brazilian soccer players and the Super Tuesday primaries have in common? If you guessed “nothing,” you are 100 per cent correct. But that doesn’t mean we’re not going to link the two. Brazil has the world’s best soccer players, and many have come to be known by one name: Ronaldinho, Ronaldo, Cafu, Kaka or, going back a few decades to the original uni-namer, Pele. Now there’s a wonderful online name generator (minimalsworld.net/BrazilName/brazilian.shtml) that will let you type in anyone’s name and have it create a Brazilian soccer name for them. We tried the field of 2008 presidential candidates. Here is yet one more bit of information to add to the ballot-punching calculus. Republicans—Mike Huckabee: Huckabealdo; John McCain: McCaincha; Ron Paul: Paincha; Mitt Romney: Mildo. Democrats—Hillary Rodham Clinton: Clintardo; Barack Obama: Obamiano.

US breed of fat dogs
NEW YORK: People are not the only ones fighting the battle of the bulge. Millions of dogs in the US are overweight or obese, according to animal experts. Up to 40 per cent, or 17 million dogs, are carrying excess weight which could cause future health problems. “What we’ve found in talking with dog owners is that it’s difficult for them to see the reality that their own pet may be overweight or obese, instead of just chubby or fluffy,” said Lisa Peterson of the American Kennel Club Humane Fund. While an extra 10 pounds on a man or woman can be a bit uncomfortable, for a normal 40-pound dog the excess could put it 25 per cent over its ideal weight. The main cause of obesity in dogs, as in humans, is overeating and insufficient exercise.

Hospital to ban gossiping
BELGRADE: A ban on grumpiness, gossiping, mini-skirts and rudeness is what the doctor orders to improve patient care in Serbia’s hospitals, according to new rules issued by the country’s Health Ministry. The rules, posted on the ministry’s Web site, say staff are not allowed to criticise their hospital or their superiors, and should not accept gifts for their services. Hospital staff are often bribed with cash or gifts for attention or better treatment. “There needs to be ground rules for decency,” a ministry spokesman said.