How algorithms, not human touch, affect socialisation of children

Yet in recent years, this foundation has begun to fracture. Intimate moments are increasingly being replaced by screens. The mobile phone, once a tool of convenience, now aggressively occupies our emotional space. When a child cries, we hand over a device instead of open arms. The screen offers light, colour, and instant silence, but no empathy. 

Over time, this has largely led to a shift from physical to digital comfort. Children now learn to scroll before they ever learn to hug. Many new-age parents feel a quiet pride watching their toddler sway on the loud music or react to bright animations on the screen. It feels harmless and even joyful. However, it won’t be wrong to say that behind this pride lies a quiet helplessness. 

As working parents, we live between deadlines and duties, often too stretched to offer time and touch. The screen becomes a substitute for presence. We console ourselves, saying that we are giving our children a better life. Yet somewhere deep down, we know that comfort cannot replace connection, and convenience cannot raise a child. 

1. 01

   How does touch affect children’s physiological processes? 

   Touch provides regulatory effects on children’s physiological processes, such as stabilisation of heart rate, improved immune function, and modulation of sleep-wake cycles. 

2. 02

   What does John Bowlby’s attachment theory argue?

   The theory argues that touch serves as a primary modality through which infants communicate and forge secure bonds with their caregivers.

3. 03

   What is 'technoference'?

   Psychologists use the term 'technoference' to describe how digital devices disrupt real human connection. 

    

How the landscape of family interaction began to shift  

This loss of touch did not happen overnight. When television became popular and entered enough homes in the 1990s, the landscape of family interaction began to shift. Families still sat together, though their attention was now centred around the broadcast programme on TV rather than on one another. 

But unlike the television, which is a shared experience, mobile phones are solitary. Today, long working hours, hectic schedules, and the constant presence of mobile devices have chipped away at human proximity. Screens now often take the place of cuddling, storytelling, or games. 

The situation has worsened with the spread of affordable internet and easy access to entertainment. It has become easier for parents to let animated videos tell stories, and save time for themselves. With this affordable internet and endless fun available at the tap of a finger, children are befriending screens before they befriend real people, or even their parents. 

The sound of laughter is replaced by silent tapping. Where once there was warmth, now there are two separate worlds, a parent on one screen, and a child on another. The gentle touch that once spoke love is slowly being lost in between. 

How touch affects children’s physiological processes

John Bowlby’s attachment theory argues that touch serves as a primary modality through which infants communicate and forge secure bonds with their caregivers. Scientists call it the “bonding hormone”, oxytocin, but parents have always known it by feel. 

Moreover, touch provides regulatory effects on children’s physiological processes, such as stabilisation of heart rate, improved immune function, and modulation of sleep-wake cycles. Thus, touch is not only a medium for emotional language but also a foundation for social connections. 

In early childhood, every hug and every held hand shapes the way a child later relates to others. Replacing that warmth with technology may keep children occupied, but it slowly takes away the very sense of belonging which makes us human. 

Children no longer compete for parents’ time, but their screens 

Parenting in the digital era is harder than ever before. Modern parents are not careless, but they are overwhelmed. Work emails, online meetings, and endless messages keep them constantly connected to the world but distant from the people who matter most to them. 

Under this pressure, many parents look for quick ways to prove they are doing their best, often through posts and pictures to showcase “ideal” parenting.  Children, in turn, learn how to pose with their parents. For them,  the reel is real. 

The phone, once meant to make life easier, has quietly become a competitor for seeking attention. Parents usually begin to use it to calm a child or buy a few minutes of silence, but it gradually turns into a habit. 

This constant interference of technology in daily life is known as ‘technoference’. Psychologists use this word to describe how digital devices interrupt real human connections. A parent may sit beside a child but keep glancing at a phone, nodding absently to them while answering messages. The child senses this divided attention and begins to withdraw.

Children today no longer compete for their parents’ time; they compete with their parents’ screens. The soft gaze of love has been replaced by the cold blue glow of devices.

Now, algorithms shape children’s socialisation 

Replacing playgrounds and neighbourhood streets, the mobile screen has also become the new space, where children grow, play and learn. Here, they no longer learn by observing family or neighbours, but by imitating strangers on the internet. Instead of learning from friends close to them, they follow influencers they will probably never meet.

Even the way we communicate is changing. People now use emojis instead of words, and stories are told in just a few seconds. Taking a photo of food has become more important than enjoying its taste. This shift is slowly reshaping our ability to listen, wait, and share space with others.

Earlier, socialisation began at home. From morning till night, family members were usually there for a child – from eating together and arguing, to sharing stories of joy and pain. Through these moments, children learnt how to talk, care, and forgive. Those experiences built real understanding. 

Now, algorithms have taken up that task. They decide what to watch, whom to follow and even what to desire. In this new order, children meet the world through the screen, without stepping outside, connected to everyone, yet deeply alone. 

Need to pause, listen, and hold one another

We all are aware that the digital world is here to stay, and that the need for human connection will always remain. But there is an urgent need to understand that childhood cannot be defined by gadgets, but by gestures.

If we do not hold our children now, they may grow up holding only their phones. A generation raised without enough touch may be clever and connected, but emotionally fragile. To nurture healthy, empathetic adults, we must give children not just information, but also warmth of affection. 

The future of our society will not be built by the speed of our devices, but also by the strength of our relationships. It will depend on whether we still know how to pause, listen, and hold one another.

Post read questions

How algorithms define the new form of socialisation for children, and how does this affect their physiological processes?

Can affordable internet and the easy availability of endless fun be held responsible for children befriending screens before they befriend real people, or even their parents? Why or why not?

Child cuddling is now being replaced by mobile phones. Discuss its impact on the socialisation of children.

How does ‘technoference’ affect the emotional bond between parents and children in everyday interactions?

(Archana Singh is an Assistant Professor of Gender and Economics at the International Institute for Population Sciences, Mumbai, and Pushpendra Singh is an Assistant Professor of Economics at Somaiya Vidyavihar University, Mumbai.)

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